Advent and liturgical formation to prepare for Christ

Today is the First Sunday of Advent. As we enter into the Liturgical Season of Advent, we can easily lose sight of what the Church teaches us during this time - because it is so overshadowed by the celebration of commercialism in the world as well as other Christians celebrating Christmas early. 

But what is Advent and why do we even have it? The Liturgical year is based on the premise that each year we are formed liturgically to live and experience the Paschal Mystery. Each of us is called to live the Life of Christ in our own life as we conform ourselves to Him. So the two hinges of this are Advebt and Lent - because they prepare us for the Birth of Christ in the flesh, and for His death and resurrection. 

So Advent is so much more than a kitsch sentimental time filled with decorations and food and Christmas carols. The reality we are entering into as we celebrate it is a stark sober reminder for us Catholics to stay awake! Be vigilant! Be prepared for the Coming of Jesus. This is what the Sunday Gospels the last few weeks were preparing us for, and what the Gospel for today instructs us “what I say to you I say to all: stay awake!”  (Mark 13:37). 

Why are we told to stay awake by Jesus? Why is Advent focused on the Judgment Day of Christ and His Second Return? Aren’t we supposed to be enjoying family time together and singing carols and preparing nativity scenes? The answer is yes to both. Yes to the questions, and yes to Jesus command to stay awake, alert, and vigilant. Ultimately it is about saying YES to Jesus Himself. 

St Cyril of Jerusalem beautifully highlights and explains to us what the meaning of Advent is. Advent is the remembrance of the Coming of Christ. But it is not just about the Coming of Christ in the past as a one time event, we also prepare for the future Coming of Christ in glory. This is what Advent teaches us about, instructs us and forms us. This is why we are given the liturgical season of Advent. It is the counterpart of the season of Lent. The mystery we are preparing to celebrate annually is too important to only be done in one day. It requires preparation, a period of formation and instruction that allows us to to savour, to taste and to appreciate what we are going to celebrate. The annual celebrations of Christmas and Easter are not just events of the past, they are realities that we Christians are called to live on our own lives everyday. 

The Coming of Christ is what we all pray for every day in the Lord’s Prayer - Adveniat regnum tuum “thy Kingdom come”. You can see the Latin word Adveniat is where we get our word for Advent - the Coming. 

The Coming of Jesus Christ in the flesh, born in Bethlehem as a helpless little child. This mystery requires time to ponder and meditate on to truly appreciate it with the awe it deserves. Like Our Lady, we should keep and meditate on all these things in our heart (Luke 2:19), treasuring them and pondering them. If we do not do this, we can easily forget what Advent is all about. We can become sleepy and intoxicated by all the noise around us that we lose the ability to remain sober, awake and vigilant as commanded by Jesus (Mark 13:37).  If we are not vigilant and prepared, then we risk missing Him just like the foolish virgins did in the parable from the Sunday Gospel as few weeks ago (Matthew 25:1-13). 

Let us then always be prepared for the Coming of Jesus. We are warned multiple times in scripture that the Day of the Lord will come like a “thief in the night” - when we least expect it. That is why we must always be ready and prepared. That is what Advent reminds us to do, to prepare for His Coming so that we are awake and vigilant. When we are spiritually awake, we are then able to see the presence of Christ. We can behold Him with wonder as the little child in the manger at Bethlehem. We can behold him with wonder as the Bread of Life for us and the world in the Eucharist, never abandoning us but always with us. We can behold Him with wonder and awe when He returns in glory with all the angels as the King and Judge of the world. 

This gift of vigilance, being alert and awake is what is called by St Paul as the spiritual gift (1 Corinthians 1:6-7). In monastic literature this has a special term in Greek, called Nepsis. May we be reawakened this Advent so we can be alert to the Presence of Christ in our lives. At the moment His Presence is hidden, but when He returns in glory then it will all be revealed and manifested to us. This manifestation of God, this revelation and theophany is what we hear in the first reading today from Isaiah (Isaiah 64:1-4). This same Presence is what became flesh for us as a helpless little child, and who will return in all His powerful awe inspiring glory in his Coming at the end of time. 

May we be awake when He comes (Mark 13:35-36) so that we can look upon Him with joy and greet him with thanksgiving, as He gathers is into His Kingdom. This is what the Liturgy of Advent refers to in the Collect for today 

Grant your faithful, we pray, almighty God,
the resolve to run forth to meet your Christ
with righteous deeds at his coming,
so that, gathered at his right hand,
they may be worthy to possess the heavenly kingdom.
Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
God, for ever and ever

Nothingness, grace and vulnerability in the Little Way

Pope Francis has recently released his awaited Apostolic Exhortation on St Therese of Liseux. It is very beautifully written and is worth taking the time to read. 

Although I am a Carmelite hermit, I always used to strongly dislike her as a spoilt brat. But then on her feast day last year, the Lord granted me a grace to let go of whatever it was that bothered me and I felt I had an older sister in Carmel. This happened after my affiliation to the Order was granted by the Prior General, and so I believe it to be one of the graces of my spiritual affiliation. Then during a very bad period while recently in hospital, I had some other consolations regarding St Therese and I have now accepted her as my sister in Carmel and my personal patron along with my dear friend St Titus Brandsma. 

We all know she is a wonderful, inspiring and powerful saint. Young and passionate, but sensitive and spoilt. A heart full of love for Jesus, but at the same time an iron will to sacrifice herself in an oblation of love. The recent consolations I have received regarding her, have make me reconsider her Little Way and Spiritual Childhood from a new perspective. Teaching me patience, kindness, charity, and vulnerability - so that the more I experience my own nothingness and sin, then I can truly say with her that “everything is grace”. 

As Pope Francis writes in the Exhortation - 

“At a time of great complexity, she can help us rediscover the importance of simplicity, the absolute primacy of love, trust and abandonment, and thus move beyond a legalistic or moralistic mindset that would fill the Christian life with rules and regulations, and cause the joy of the Gospel to grow cold.”

St Therese of Liseux - pray for us to be love in the heart of the Church, to save souls and do everything for love of Jesus. Teach us to be little children of our living God, full of confidence and trust in his Providence and love for us

Prayer, our human emotions and the importance of the Psalms for prayer and intimacy with God

Recently I have been getting my directees to read one psalm each day, to meditate on it and use it for their mental prayer. This is because the psalms beautifully teach us how to fully pray with all our emotions and to have an intimate boldness with God in prayer that we often forget He wants with us. This is why Jesus himself gives us the parable of the persistent widow in Luke 18:1 - 8, and we see his own intimacy with the Father in prayer in Luke 22:39 - 46 & John 17:1 - 25. 

My directee emailed me to share some new insights on prayer and this was my response to him.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

That is wonderful to hear! Praise God!

Yes that sounds like the typological/allegorical interpretation - this is how you look at the symbolism in the psalms or any part of scripture, and you look for the deeper spiritual/mystical/symbolic meaning. Often these symbolic meanings you will begin to discover recur throughout all of scripture. These themes, imaghes and particular words/terms then foreshadow or are pointers towards their fulfilment in the person and life of Jesus the Messiah, this is what is meant by typology. (CCC# 115-119).

For example... if we look at Psalm 22. The beginning of this Psalm is what Jesus is praying on the cross when he says "My God My god, why have you forsaken me?"  (Matthew 27:46, Mark 15:34). But he is praying it in Aramiac and so the people misunderstood him and thought he was calling for Elijah to help him. This is because in Aramaic he prayed "Eloi Eloi lama sabachthani". So in Hebrew and Aramaic, the name Elijah sounds like "Eloi-ih-yah". This is because the name Elijah (Eliyahu) literally means "Yahweh is God" (El is the generic semitic term for deity/god, this is why in Arabic God is Allah, El and Al are the same word but slightly different due to dialect difference between Hebrew and Arabic, but they have a common origin as a Semitic language)

Elijah fought as a Prophet to restore Israel back to true worship to Yahweh and to stop idolatry to Baal, so his name literally also shows his purpose/mission/vocation and also his identity as a person (1 Kings 18:21, 2 Chronicles 21:12-15, Malachi 4:1-6, Sirach 48:1-10). This is a common theme in scripture, and is why Simon's name is changed to Peter by Jesus, he establishes him and calls him the ":Rock" (Matthew 16:8) who will strengthen the faith of his brethren (John 22:32) and feed the sheep as entrusted to him by our Good Shepherd himself (John 21:15-17). This is the basis for the popes as successors of St Peter and the Petrine ministry in the Catholic Church. (CCC# 881- 883, 891, 895-896, 936-937)

This is why we have salvation in the name of Jesus. Because Jesus is a slightly different version of the name Joshua, this name literally means "Yahweh saves" or "Yahweh is salvation" - this is why in the Gospel of Matthew the Archangel Gabriel says "you will call him Jesus because he shall save his people from his sins" (Matthew 1:21). when you start to understand these things it opens up your eyes spiritually and it is like and explosion in your brain and you go "WOW!! why has no one ever told me this before?"  Then you sit then in awe and amazement - and that is what contemplation is! (CCC# 2709, 2712, 2715, 2717). Just sitting silently in awe, wonder and amazement of God and the awesomeness of the Holy Trinity that made us, knows us, and loves us. So we sit in silence in that love, just like a child held in the hands of their mother or father and we learn to feel peace beyond all understanding.(Philippians 4:6-9, Romans 15:13, 1 Thessalonians 5:23, Coloassians 3:12-16, Psalm 46:10)

Going back to Psalm 22 that Jesus prayed on the cross, so often people tend to only focus on the feeling of abandonment that Jesus experienced on the cross. While this is true in one sense, and especially the surface reading of the text. But when you understand that it is Psalm 22 that he is praying and not words of despair, then you realise that the Psalm ends as a song of praise and victory!! (Psalm 22:19, Psalm 22:19, Psalm 22:24-25). Thus the whole of Psalm 22 now takes on Messianic prophetic meaning, we see it is fulfilled in the New Testament and recorded in the Gospel as evidence for our faith and testimony/witness according to the Spirit, water and the blood of Jesus in his crucifixion (1 John 5:5 - 12, 1 John 19:31 - 35).

So Jesus was still teaching us while on the cross!! He shows us and demonstraytes that even in the worst moments of our life that literally kill us or feel like they are, we can still praise God and trust in his promises and know that he is victorious. Amen Amen! 

When we declare the praises of the Lord before others, He is our strength and we know He listens to us - He will grant us justice for He himself is Just, and promises us eternal life if we are faithful to Him.

Psalm 22: 19 - 28 

19 But you, Lord, do not be far from me.
    You are my strength; come quickly to help me.
20 Deliver me from the sword,
    my precious life from the power of the dogs.
21 Rescue me from the mouth of the lions;
    save me from the horns of the wild oxen.

22 I will declare your name to my people;
    in the assembly I will praise you.
23 You who fear the Lord, praise him!
    All you descendants of Jacob, honor him!
    Revere him, all you descendants of Israel!
24 For he has not despised or scorned
    the suffering of the afflicted one;
he has not hidden his face from him
    but has listened to his cry for help.

25 From you comes the theme of my praise in the great assembly;
    before those who fear you[f] I will fulfill my vows.
26 The poor will eat and be satisfied;
    those who seek the Lord will praise him—
    may your hearts live forever!

27 All the ends of the earth
    will remember and turn to the Lord,
and all the families of the nations
    will bow down before him,
28 for dominion belongs to the Lord
    and he rules over the nations.

So this is what I hope that you slowly start to understand, enter into, and slowly the Holy Spirit will guide you and take you deeper in your prayer with the psalms and meditation. Plus the psalms teach us how to pray fully and integrate our emotions into prayer (CCC#1767 - 1770) having frank, bold, intimate and even argumentative prayer with God (CCC#2587-2589)!! This boldness in prayer is what I call the "rights" we have with God as his children and citizen's as the Kingdom of God. The same way that in America people always talk about their constitutional rights and uphold them even while getting arrested by the police and will state their rights and argue whilst being put in handcuffs! So the same with us as Catholics, we have formal prayer, liturgy, devotions, mental prayer, praise, singing, spiritual reading - but we also need to pray WITH our emotions, just like David does in the Psalms,(CCC# 2590 -2597) When we are happy or sad or angry or scared or frustrated we need to use these emotions and pray to God in those moments and talk to him, vent to him, complain to him. We need to share these emotions with God and have total honesty and a type of "rawness" with him in prayer - so that like Jacob, we wrestle with God and say "I will not let you go until you bless me" (Genesis 32:22-31). Jacob was then given the new name of Israel which means "he that wrestles/fights with God" or another interpretation is that "he who sees God" - so the Hebraic people descended from Jacob/Israel became known as the ancient kingdom nation of Israel, and now the Catholic Church is the New Israel - the People of God!! (CCC# 781- 782, Lumen Gentium #9, Galatians 6:16, cf St Justin Martyr in his "Dialogue with Trypho" Chapter 11)

 

I am not sure if you had a chance to watch my video of the talk I gave on "Marian Mysticism according to St Titus Brandmsa" but if you haven't had the chance, try to listen to it when you can. Because I discuss his teachings on the importance of our personality and our humanity that should not be separated from prayer and mysticism, Instead the more human we become and fully accept ourselves with our weaknesses and vices (lust, anger, pride, sloth, jealousy etc) - the more that we honestly accept these thorns of the flesh in prayer, humility and trust in Divine Providence (2 Corinthians 12:7-10, Romans 8:28), using them in the moments of our weakness as reminders to pray and turn to God for strength and consolation (Matthew 26:41, 1 Corinthians 10:13, 2 Thessalonians 3:3), then our prayer becomes more authentic and real. God then can work in us more freely because in this acceptance of our weakness (this is true humility, and also the "self knowledge" that St Teresa of Avila talks about) then the more that grace can build upon our nature, and so the Holy Spirit will sanctify, vivify us, transform and transfigure us into the image of Christ and we can then gloriously shine with the light of Jesus (1 John 3:2, 2 Corinthians 3:18, 2 Corinthians 5:17, Ephesians 2:10, Colossians 3:9-10, Philippains 3:21) - just like the stained glass window analogy I mentioned to you in our last session. 

As stained glass windows make the light more beautiful as it shines through them in their different shapes, sizes, hues of colour - so too God has created us as unique individuals, and the more we become most fully ourselves and accept our individuality, then the light of Christ shines through us more powerfully, more beautifully and God somehow gets MORE glory through us as we become more alive in him and we become more full of the Holy Spirit as his Temples and as we are conformed to the Image of Christ. But we all remain unique and different even when we are united in the Holy Spirit and the Communion of Saints, as the Mystical Body of Christ in the Church (CCC# 954-959). We remain unique and different even in our unity, because the Holy Spirit brings unity, communion and harmony - not conformity or the destruction of our unique individual personhood (CCC# 356- 372, CCC# 733-741, CCC# 813-14, 845, CCC# 997-1004 CCC# 1934-1937) Just as St Therese of Liseux teaches that all the flowers in the garden of God are beautiful because they are unique and different, so the lily or the violet does not take away the beauty of the rose - instead they all have their own inherent beauty. 

So this is the basis for my analogy of the stained glass window - all the different shapes, colours, sizes, shades and hues together in harmony (while being separate and unique) make the light shining through them somehow more beautiful than if that same light was just shining through a clear pane of glass. Each piece of stained glass with its variations of size and colour, is united together as one singled bigger picture of stained glass and only when united together in order and harmony does each little piece make sense and have purpose - the Holy Spirit unites us and provides this unity in the bond of charity for us in the Church, so that together as the Mystical Body of Christ we all form together the New Jerusalem that we are the building blocks of (Ephesians 2:14 - 22, 1 Corinthians 3:9 - 17, 1 Peter 2:4 - 8, Revelation 21:1 - 4) . This is how we all should be in the Church, united in Christ and conformed to his image - whilst still remaining unique from eachother, different personality, different temperament etc.. and even when we struggle with our sins and weakness, as we humbly accept our nothingness before God, the more we understand our dependency and need for grace, and we ask for grace and we appreciate it. Then the more God can work in us, purifying our memory, intellect and will - and we can more confidently walk in the Freedom of the Spirit (2 Corinthians 3:17, Galatians 5:16), living in the Spirit and as Children of the Father we can confidently trust in him that whatever happens he can and will use it for our sanctification and his glory if we confirm to his will (1 thessalonians 4:3) - because of all creation groans in expectation (Romans 8:18-27) for the revealing of us as the Sons/Children of God at the Final Coming of Jesus (Parousia) [CCC#668 - 682]

All of this is what I have been slowly trying to teach you and to help you understand. Even your anxiety and fears can be moments of prayer if you use them to turn towards God and talk to him. But most of the time we give into our fears and anxieties, we run away from God and we turn away from him (Luke 5:8, Psalm 139:7-10, Genesis 3:8-10), and the anxieties, fears and temptations overwhelm us and we fall into sin and choose sin, instead of choosing to turn to God in trust and love. This "self sabotage" behaviour that we all do, then weakens our wills (CCC#1863) and so we then repeat the vicious cycle of choosing sin instead of choosing to love God and to choose the way of virtue and holiness. But until we renew our mind (Romans 12:12) and allow the Holy Spirit to pray in us when we don't know how (Romans 8:26-27), then we will not experience prayer and intimacy with God as rest (Matthew 11:29, Psalm 23:2, Psalm 46:10), and so we will continue to fall for the lies of the devil (John 8:44, Matthew 4:1-11, Genesis 3:1-13, 2 Corinthians 11:3, 1 Timothy 2:13-14 ) and choose sin instead of loving God (love = to will the good of another). So we are our own worst enemy, this is the "sinful/corrupt nature" and the "old adam" that scripture talks about (Ephesians 4:22, Romans 6:6, Colossians 3:9, John 3:6-7, Romans 8:7-8, 1 Corinthians 2:14-15). The more we understand that even our faith is a gift from God, it is also a virtue and so needs to be cultivated and protected (CCC#1812 - 1829, #1841-1844). So little acts of faith throughout the day, strengthen our will and help us to choose God and virtue more and more, so when temptation comes through loneliness of anxiety - we are more able to resist it and rebuke it, because our faith, hope and love have been cultivated and so we can choose to worship with Lord (Joshua 12:15,Matthew 4:8-10, 1 Kings 18:21)  and choose life (Deuteronomy 30:15-20, John 2:17, Hebrews 3:14-19, Psalm 95:1-11) instead of sin and death. This is how we live our baptismal priesthood (CCC#1265 - 1274) and the threefold charism/Office (Christ had this fully, so we as Christians through baptism are shares of this in and with him) of priest, prophet and king (CCC# 787). The less we are bound in slavery to sin and vice (Romans 6:1-7, Romans 6:22, Romans 8:2, 1 Peter 1:13-21), the more freedom we have in the Spirit (2 Corinthians 3:17), we have fullness of life (John 10:10) and are able to already live in the Kingdom here (Luke 17:20) and now with peace and joy as a Child of God (Ephesians 5:1, Ephesians 8-17, Ephesians 4:32, Matthew 5:45, John 1:12, Romans 8:14-16, John 16:20-33, Romans 14:17). 

This is what it means to be a Catholic, this is what should excite us!! If we all lived like this, then the world would be changed and set alight with the glory of God and set on fire for Christ (Luke 12:49) as St Catherine of Siena says. This is the key to reform and renewal in the Church, it is what all the saints teach and taught, and is the beauty of holiness that brings others to Christ as Pope Benedict XVI used to teach - the reform of holiness.

Learning to Praise God is one of the most important things we can do in our spiritual life. It is the oxygen for our soul, as St Padre Pio defined prayer and St Gregory Nazianzus says something similar. We are told by St Paul to rejoice always in the Lord, as also to pray without ceasing (1 Thessalonians 5:16 - 18), so that our whole life will become a living sacrifice acceptable to him (Romans 12:1). This is a foundational truth that we need to remind ourselves of continuously. Jesus himself gave us this example on the cross (Hebrews 5:7 - 10) by praying Psalm 22. This Psalm that typologically foreshadows the suffering of an innocent man, is also a Christological prophecy - yet this prophecy is not only fulfilled by Jesus on the cross (Matthew 5:17, Matthew 26:56, Luke 24:26-27, John 17:12, Acts 2:23, Acts 3:18, Acts 28:23, Revelation 19:10), but the prophecy itself that was a written in the Book of Psalms in words, now becomes a life giving and living spoken word (2 Corinthians 3:6, John 6:63) by the Eternal Logos himself, the Word made Flesh! (John 1:1-5, John 1:14, Hebrews 1:1-3, Revelation 21:1-7)

This is why I often repeat to myself the words from Psalm 43:5 "why are you cast down my soul, why groan within me? Hope in God and trust him still, my saviour and my God" Then Psalm 22 it mentions the Lord setting a banquet for us in the presence of our enemies (Psalm 22:5) which is a prophecy of the Eucharist and the Mass, so then the beauty of the Eucharist is the Wedding Banquet of the Lamb (Revelation 19:1-9. Revelation 22:17) that we look forward to at the end of time, but we already participate in it here and now "in the presence of our enemies" (Psalm 25:5, CCC# 2836 -2837). 

To incorporate all of this within the context of spiritual warfare - we know from personal experience and scripture, that the devil is constantly trying to attack us and wear us down day and night (1 Peter 5:8, Ephesians 6:10-11, Revelation 12:10). This is why the sacraments and prayer are so important, because the sacraments themselves are the power and the victory of the Resurrection being dispensed to us and applied in our life here in the battle of sin and spiritual warefare (John 19:20-23, Luke 24:13 - 35, CCC# 1066 - 1073, CCC# 1087 - 1089, CC# 1099 - 1107, CCC# 1116, CCC# 1127 - 1129, CCC# 1373, CCC# 1468, CCC# 2848 -2854). When we are strengthened by the sanctifying grace of Jesus the Bread of Life (John 6:23-39, John 6: 47-51) in the Eucharist which is the fruit of the Tree of Life which is the Cross (Revelation 2:7, Revelation 22:2, CCC# 2836-2837), we can praise God from the pit of hell or while being tortured like the 3 holy youths; Ananaias, Azarias, Misael in the fire (Daniel 3:16-25, CCC# 2639 - 2643) - and we can fulfill in our own lives the words of Psalm 118:14 -15 "The LORD is my strength and my song; he has become my salvation. There are shouts of joy and victory in the tents of the just". This is how I was able to continue to pray and sing the Divine Office while in hospital in isolation, while feeling like at times I was going to die, and even when I had a mentally in patient bashing on my door threatening to kill me whilst I was still able to look him in the eye and say "I am not scared or afraid of you, you cannot intimidate me. Nothing will stop me from praising my God". 

So I pray that the Holy Spirit will continue to work in your mind, heart and soul (John 16:5 - 15, 1 Corinthians 2:10) - taking you deeper into the mystery of Love that is the Holy Trinity (CCC# 234). Revealing to you and allowing you to encounter the inner mysteries, and mutual outpouring of intimate love between Father, Son and Holy Spirit (Colossians 3:14, Romans 5:5), so that you may be inserted into the mystery of their inner dynamic of mutual relations, and share in their perichoresis as a partaker of the divine nature (2 Peter 1:4) through the union of your weak and fragile humanity with the Sacred Humanity of Jesus Christ who prepares a seat for us with him in heavenly places (John 14:3, Ephesians 2:4 - 7).  

This mysterious reality is precisely the reason why God the Holy Trinity created us, from the overflow of divine goodness (CCC# 1 - 3, CCC# 1718 - 1719, CCC# 1726, CCC# 2086). This is why we have also been predestined, redeemed, justified and saved by Our Lord Jesus Christ (Romans 8:29 - 38, CCC# 2014 - 2016), and are being sanctified for by the Holy Spirit who is our pledge of future glory (Ephesians 1:14, 2 Corinthians 1:22).  We as Catholics seek to strive everyday to love God who loved us first (1 John 4:19), to respond to the invitation of eternal life through prayer, repentance and the sacraments as daily commit to abide in Christ (John 15:9 - 17), so that through him the Father and the Holy Spirit make their home in us, dwell in us and amongst us forever in glory (Leviticus 26:12; Jeremiah 32:38; Ezekiel 37:27, Zechariah 8:8, 2 Corinthians 6:16 - 19, John 4:10 - 14,  John 7:37 - 39,  John 14:23, Romans 5:5, Romans 8:9 - 11, Galatians 4:6, Acts 2:22-39, Revelation 3:20 - 21, Revelation 21:3). 

Through the intercession of the Immaculata, may you like Our Lady always say "yes" to the invitation of God and open your heart to him in prayer so you can receive the outpouring of Love (Romans 5:5) you and I were created for. 

Martyrdom, Holiness and Reform - the keys of Catholicism

The other day in the Office of Readings I saw these two wonderful quotes from the 2nd Reading for each of the optional memorials. They are very timely reminders for us all. 

St Ambrose excellently explains how as Christians, our everyday life is a form of martyrdom - it is a witness of yess to Christ and no to the world. Etymological the word is from Anxient Greek μάρτυς (mártus = “witness”). So a martyr and witness in Biblical Greek are synonymous and the same word can mean both someone who dies for their faith, or someone who is a witness of their faith through their way of life (Rev 12:11) 

Then there is the passage from St John Leonardi who started a religious congregation of Clerks Regular (priests who live together but not with solemn vows, Oratorians and Somascans are examples of this) who would promote religious instruction to young children. This was part of his contribution to Counter-Reformation Catholicism after the Council of Trent addressed the accusations of the Protestants and dogmatically addressed the Catholic doctrines on grace, free will, the sacraments, canon of scripture, the sacrifice of the Mass, salvation, merit, justification, Church reform against corruption and it established seminaries for the training of priests to address the issues of immorality and lack of doctrine among the clergy. So teasing his remarks on Church reform from that era after the Council of Trent, and then seeing them today with the issues of never ending discussion of Church reform and the Synod on Synodality - helps to refocus us on what Pope Benedict and all the saints have taught. Reform must be begin and end in the personal holiness of us all, each and every member of the Chur ch. Holiness needs to be the norm for us all, not the exception of a few saints raised to the glory of the altars and proclaimed saints. This was one of the best insights and emphasis of Vatican II - the universal call to holiness, rooted in common baptismal consecration. All of us must become holy in loving God and neighbour, the more we live in God’s Will and the more we love God, then the more grace can perfect us and the Holy Spirit can guide us and the Church into all truth (John 16:13-15). 

Holiness, Reform and the witness of martyrdom are all linked. Each of us must be witnesses of Christ, who deny our sinful desires out of love for Christ and this martyrdom of self denial is our witness to the world of our “Fiat” - our YES to Jesus. The more we say yes to Jesus, the more we can love him and our neighbour, the more we reform ourselves in holiness, the more that each member of the Church benefits from it personally through the Communion of Saints and the Mystical Body of the Church. Then after personal holiness and reform, that’s where structural and institutional change can occur within the hierarchy, and then our shepherds can feed us better and protect us better once they have been uplifted and strengthened by our prayers and intercession. In the Church everything is interconnected in love and the unity of the Holy Spirit who is the bond uniting us all (Ephesians 4:3), vivifying us and sanctifying us through the Sacraments that Jesus handed onto the Church to continue effecting his power and victory to his sheep he loves.

The love of Christ present in the darkness of faith

These words by my dear friend St Titus Brandsma, are becoming my own words more and more each day. When something feels so true from the depths of your heart, it can’t be explained or understood - just felt. 

So many people love me and I have more love in my life than many could ever wish for. But there’s still a darkness, a deep ache and empty cold. Yet even there, Jesus loves me and reaches out to me and I know he’s in control, all I can do is keep walking in dark faith and trusting he’ll bring me home. The more you leap into the woundedness and pain, the deeper Jesus takes you and brings you out the other side through his glorious wounds. 

I’m not there yet, I’m not guaranteed I ever will be. But whatever happens, Blessed be the name of my Lord and Savior (Job 1:21), now and forever. Whether I live or die, it’s all for his glory (Romans 14:8) and my Redeemer lives (Job 19:25) who will be faithful to me if I persevere to the end (Matthew 24:13, 2 Timothy 2:13). 

——- 

O Jesus, when I gaze on You

Once more alive, that I love You

And that your heart loves me too

Moreover as your special friend.

Although that calls me to suffer more

Oh, for me all suffering is good,

For in this way I resemble You

And this is the way to Your Kingdom.

I am blissful in my suffering

For I know it no more as sorrow

But the most ultimate elected lot

That unites me with You, O God.

O, just leave me here silently alone,

The chill and cold around me

And let no people be with me

Here alone I grow not weary.

For Thou, O Jesus, art with me

I have never been so close to You.

Stay with me, with me, Jesus sweet,

Your presence makes all things good for me.

- St Titus Brandsma O.Carm

My patron - St Jerome of Stridon with crucifix, statue by Bernini 

Don’t run from your Shepherd, allow him to heal and love you

For those who may not know, I’ve been unwell past week and half with bronchitis and asthma issues. On Friday I got taken to emergency by ambulance because I couldn’t breathe and they suspected pneumonia. In the ER that day I honestly thought I was dying, and told Jesus he can take me and I’m ready to go because I love him. But as the priest who gave me the Sacraments of Confession, Anointing of the Sick and Apostolic Pardon said to me: “I don’t think you are going anywhere yet, the Lord still has plans for you”.

Thankfully I don’t have pneumonia, but I have a viral infection from Rhinovurus,that turned into bacterial infection, plus bronchitis and asthma. So I’m still in hospital and having to humbly learn to heal, be patient, allow myself time to heal physically as well as emotionally and spiritually. I will probably be here at least another day or so. 

I’ve been so blessed by God already these 3 days in hospital so far. My parish priest visited me, my Coptic Abouna visited me and brought me orban (blessed agape bread) and gave me Coptic Anointing of the Sick, my mum has been everyday, my parish priest brought me Holy Communion yesterday and I cried. Today my spiritual director is coming to visit me and offered to bring me Holy Communion. I have a picture of St Tius in my room and I’ve been evangelising the nurses who ask about my miraculous medal or see my breviary, I tell them that I’m a Bogan hermit who’s a crackhead for Jesus 😂. St Titus has been teaching me to suffer honestly, but also with humor, and he is keeping me close to Jesus by reminding me to embrace my weakness and sufferings fully. 

This morning during the Office of Readings, this passage from Ezekiel and the commentary from St Augustine really hit me. My parish priest yesterday had a long chat to me and told me I have to stop pretending to be strong and in control and to allow God to heal me and let go. Then these two quotes really spoke to my heart as a verification of that. I’m a wounded stray sheep, and I can’t run away or hide, I have to call for help and trust in the Good Shepherd who loves me and searches after me, who will heal me and make me whole even in my brokenness. 

I hope this helps you in where ever you are at today in your life, may it bring you comfort and hope. We are all stray sheep, but we are loved and able to be healed if we trust. But we need to not run away or hide, together we can all help eachother stay close to our Beloved Shepherd and Guardian of our souls (1 Peter 2:25).

Marian Mysticism according to St Titus Brandsma

Mother Teresa and the mysticism of suffering

Mother Teresa was an ethnic Albanian nun born in modern day Macedonia. She is famous for her work with the poor in Calcutta India and founding a religious order - The Missionaries of Charity. They take a 4th vow to serve the “poorest of the poor”, and are spread throughout the world running orphanages, homeless shelters, women’s refuges or going into the streets to feed the homeless. 

What is lesser known about St Mother Teresa, is the intense inner suffering she struggled with for many years. She experienced the Dark Night of the Soul, where she did not feel any consolation or love of God within her, she often felt the absence of God. This intense suffering of hers was essential to her own mysticism of serving Jesus in the poor, and manifesting the love of God to others - even when she herself could not feel it. 

As a nun and a saint, her strength always came from prayer and the Eucharist. All her nuns have adoration twice a day, so that all their missionary charitable work flows from Jesus and back to Jesus. By spending time in Adoration in front of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament this teaches them the eyes of faith, so that they can also learn to see Jesus in every person they serve. This contemplative understanding of serving and loving Jesus in others, was a unique aspect of Mother Teresa’s spirituality. 

The Incarnational dimension of Mother Teresa’s spirituality, serving Jesus in the poorest of the poor, is founded upon the Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. God became man out of love for us, died on the cross for love of us - and remains in the Eucharist for love of us. This love of Jesus for us is not static or in the past, it is alive and dynamic. The love we receive from Jesus himself in the Eucharist is the same love we need to reflect and radiate to all around us, sharing with them the love that Jesus has for them. 

This intense love of Jesus is emphasised in the chapels of the Order, where they have the words written on the wall “I thirst” next to the crucifix. Mother Teresa taught that Jesus’ thirst on the cross was not for water, but for souls. He was thirsting for you and me, to love him as he loves us, and to help satiate his thirst by bringing others to him in love. 

Many of us would think that someone who so often preached the value of a smile, who spent years working with the poor, loving Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament and a woman of intense prayer would have been bursting with the love of God inside her. Yet she only experienced darkness within herself. She felt empty and life she was in hell, with no love. 

Yet even with this suffering, she chose to remain faithful to the calling she felt God had given her. She still chose to get up and pray everyday, she chose to love God even when she felt she had no love, she chose to smile to others and help them feel loved - even when she didn’t feel she was. This intense suffering and desolation was part of her mysticism of suffering. She said that suffering itself was Jesus coming so close to you as to kiss you! 

So many of us confuse love with a feeling or emotion. But in Catholic theology, love is an action of the will - we choose to will the good of another, this is what it means to love.

When someone is mean or rude to you, but you still treat them kindly - this is charity. 

When someone doesn’t deserve your forgiveness, but you still choose to forgive them anyway - this is charity. 

When someone lies about you or persecuted you, but you still don’t retaliate and even try to help them when they need help - this is charity. 

When you feel dead on the inside and exist on darkness, but smile to all you meet and make them feel that they are precious - this is charity. 

Charity is love, but not romantic or erotic love. It is self sacrificing love, agape. As Mother Teresa used to say, love until it hurts - then love some more. For love to be real, it must hurt, it has to be sacrificial and therefore it is heroic. Charity makes us share in the love of Christ himself on the cross for us and in the Eucharist for us, so that we can learn how to love more tenderly. 

Only someone who truly loved Jesus could have done the things that Mother Teresa did for so many years. This was her mysticism of suffering - she was united to God precisely through the absence of feeling his love. But she still willed to love God anyway, she chose it. 

This is something I have found to be true on my own life - love is a choice. We have to choose to follow God and be kind to others even when we don’t feel like it. We have to choose to remain faithful to the Gospel even when it hurts or we feel overcome by our own weakness and inadequateness. We have to choose to shine the light of Christ to others, even when we ourselves feel we are in darkness. We have to choose to pray, even when we feel it is empty or a waste of time. 

Love is a choice, let us never forget this. Choose love today. Choose Jesus, because he has chosen you so that he can love others through you. 

Do you seek after spiritual honey or only see the dung?

This is advice from an Orthodox saint, but still highly relevant to us all, especially today. It can be so easy to focus on all the negatives in the Church and the world, while forgetting the good things. The more you understand this history of the Church you’ll see it’s always been a mess, always issues with corruption and scandal, there’s always been weak leaders and immorality, the saints were always the exception to the norm but not the norm. There’s never been a “golden period” of the Church without error, heresy, scandals, discord, corruption and failure - that’s the reality of sin in all of our lives, and yet even in all that overwhelming mess, the Jesus remains present as a ray of light and hope to us all, showing us the way to Him. 

Jesus is Lord and is in control, he is victorious (Colossians 2:15, Revelation 1:17) and has over come the world (John 16:33), we as members of the Church share in his victory (Romans 8:37) and he has left the Holy Spirit to guide the Church into all truth (John 16:13) as well as dwell in us as his own Temples (1 Corinthians 6:19) and poured his love into our hearts (Romans 5:5). 

So why should we be anxious or worried about things? Although we often feel like we are in a storm in our life, out of control and that we have been forgotten - but Jesus is present in the boat and in control (Mark 4:38-40). He also tells us today ““Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?” (Mark 4:40). 

Today choose to see the goodness of the Lord in your life, don’t focus on the garbage. “Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in him.” (Psalm 34:8)

Mary crowned with stars and clothed with the sun

Mary is Queen of heaven and earth, Queen and Mother of the Church who rules with her Son Jesus in His Kingdom. Crowned with stars and clothed in the sun (Revelation 12:1), wrapped in gold she stands at the right side of the King, as Queen (Psalm 45:8) united to Him, reigning with him and sharing his sovereign power. 

The feast of the Queenship of Mary, falls at the end of the octave of the feast of the Assumption of Our Lady. Mary bodily assumed and taken up into heaven, now reigns with Christ in glory. She has received her glorified and resurrected body, as we all will at the end of time. So Our Lady physically in heaven together with Jesus and united to him, is what all of us who are baptised are called to share in after the Final Judgment. 

Just as Christ’s Ascension into heaven is celebrated as Jesus not only being raised up into heaven, but also raises above all things, taking his place as Head. As Head of His Body the Church, he is also the King in Glory now enthroned at the right hand of the Father. He now shares this honour with his Mother. Seating her at his own right hand, crowning her and enthroning her so she can rule with him. She is the Queen Mother, the Gebirah (1 Kings 2:19), just like the Davidic Kings had in their kingdom. The mother of the king who is highest in honour among all, apart from her own son the king, and even the king honours her as his mother (1 Kings 2:19-20). This is what it means for Mary to be Queen. 

Apart from receiving honour, a queen also is sovereign like the king, not accountable to anyone else. The royal freedom of a queen also applies to her share in the riches or treasury of the kingdom. She had access to the person of the king, as well as her own share in the treasures of the kingdom to use at her will. This is the context for understanding the teaching that Mary as Mother and Queen of Grace, has also been made Mediatrix and dispenser of graces by Jesus himself. Through Jesus victory over death on the cross and his resurrection, he has won the spoils of war (Isaiah 53:12), and so he has access to the Treasury of grace that is rightfully his. In Assuming Mary into heaven to be with him, he has elevated Mary and enthroned her at his right hand as his Queen, with the perogitive to freely dispense his graces as she chooses - because they are unified in mind, heart and spirit. That total conformity and union that Mary now has, is what we too will come to share one day in heaven. 

A queen also had right of appeal to the king in his court, or could intervene for others. So Mary is now not only our Queen in heaven and Mediatrix of the treasures of grace, but she is also the Advocate who intercedes for us and makes known our petitions. Through her union with the Holy Spirit and always being full of grace (Luke 1:28), she is also a sharer in the office of Advocate with her spouse the Holy Spirit the Paraclete. Just as the Holy Spirit comforts us, consoles us, strengthens us and prays in us (John 14:16, Romans 8:26)- so too does Mary Immaculate Queen Mother, the Theotokos and Spouse of the Holy Spirit. 

As the Ark of the New Covenant, she is also now the Throne of Grace and Mercy Seat Romans 3:25, Hebrews 4:16), in the Temple of the New Jerusalem. The glory of God sits on the throne in the Temple as the symbol of the Divine Presence dwelling in the midst of his people. The sacred humanity of  Jesus our Immanuel, is the locus of union between God and man, human and the divine. So the very person of Jesus Christ himself is the bridge that unites everything and so can draw all to himself as the source of life. God-with-us-in-the-Flesh is the full manifestation and revelation of the hidden mystery of the Most Holy Trinity that is enthroned upon the cherubim (1 Samuel 4:4, Psalm 18:10) 

The mercy seat, or throne of grace was the area between the outstretched wings of the golden cherubim on the Ark of the Covenant (Exodus 25:15). It was called the ark or the tabernacle, because it contained the stone tablets of the covenant of Moses - the 10 Commandments, the Law (Exodus 25:21). Jesus Christ himself is the fulfilment of the law in his very body (Matthew 5:-7), no longer written on stone, but written in his own Sacred Heart and burning to be written within all our hearts (Ezekiel 11:19, Ezekiel 36:26, Jeremiah 31:33, Hebrews 8:19). He reigns in his Kingdom whilst seated on the throne, reigning in full glory and power all granted to him by the Father. Mary his mother, is herself his very throne. By giving birth to him, he “received” his body and humanity from her - the same body that is Resurrected as Lord of Life and King of Kings (Revelation 17:14). Seated on the Throne of Grace and Mercy Seat, which is his own Mother - the Ark of the New Covenant. He has glorified and honoured her physically in the Assumption, so now he also shares his victorious freedom and sovereignty with her as his Queen Mother, robed in gold and bright as the sun, crowned with 12 stars (Revelation 12:1). 

Crowns in the Bible are symbolic of power and also victory (James 1:12, Revelation 2:10). Jesus has won the race for us and gained for us the victory (Hebrews 12:1-3). He shares that victory with us all now through the Sacraments of His Church, so that we too will reign with him one day in glory. Just as He crowned his own Mother as his Queen, one day he will crown each of us as his fellow coheirs in the Kingdom for eternity. Seated with him in justice and holiness, no longer fighting or striving, but sharing the Eternal Sabbath rest in total peace beyond understanding with full victorious freedom of the Children of God (Hebrews 4, Romans 8:19-23). 

May we all rejoice together with Mary our Immaculate Queen and Mother, in the salvation we all share and will come to the fullness of in heaven (Luke 1:46-56). Blessed indeed is She who believed in the Word of God and was faithful (Luke 1:45, Luke 11:27-28)! Mary always Full of Grace, please always be near us and with us so we can walk into the victory that Jesus has won for us on the cross.