Ruminations of an Irascible Hermit.: The love of Christ present in the darkness of faith

Saturday, September 30, 2023

The love of Christ present in the darkness of faith

These words by my dear friend St Titus Brandsma, are becoming my own words more and more each day. When something feels so true from the depths of your heart, it can’t be explained or understood - just felt.

So many people love me and I have more love in my life than many could ever wish for. But there’s still a darkness, a deep ache and empty cold. Yet even there, Jesus loves me and reaches out to me and I know he’s in control, all I can do is keep walking in dark faith and trusting he’ll bring me home. The more you leap into the woundedness and pain, the deeper Jesus takes you and brings you out the other side through his glorious wounds.

I’m not there yet, I’m not guaranteed I ever will be. But whatever happens, Blessed be the name of my Lord and Savior (Job 1:21), now and forever. Whether I live or die, it’s all for his glory (Romans 14:8) and my Redeemer lives (Job 19:25) who will be faithful to me if I persevere to the end (Matthew 24:13, 2 Timothy 2:13).

——-

O Jesus, when I gaze on You

Once more alive, that I love You

And that your heart loves me too

Moreover as your special friend.

Although that calls me to suffer more

Oh, for me all suffering is good,

For in this way I resemble You

And this is the way to Your Kingdom.

I am blissful in my suffering

For I know it no more as sorrow

But the most ultimate elected lot

That unites me with You, O God.

O, just leave me here silently alone,

The chill and cold around me

And let no people be with me

Here alone I grow not weary.

For Thou, O Jesus, art with me

I have never been so close to You.

Stay with me, with me, Jesus sweet,

Your presence makes all things good for me.

- St Titus Brandsma O.Carm

My patron - St Jerome of Stridon with crucifix, statue by Bernini

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Disclaimer

Please note. I am a Catholic layman, not a qualified theologian or philosopher. What I say and write here are my own personal thoughts and ideas, although I always try to conform my writings to the Magisterium of the Church.

I- with firm faith believe and profess everything that is contained in the symbol of faith: namely,

I believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, of all that is seen and unseen. I believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, eternally begotten of the Father, God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God, begotten, not made, one in Being with the Father. Through him all things were made. For us men and for our salvation he came down from heaven: By the power of the Holy Spirit, he was born of the Virgin Mary, and became man. For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate; he suffered, died and was buried. On the third day he rose again in fulfillment of the Scriptures; he ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father. He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead, and his kingdom will have no end. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life, who proceeds from the Father and the Son. With the Father and the Son he is worshipped and glorified. He has spoken through the Prophets. I believe in the one holy catholic and apostolic church. I acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins. I look for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come. Amen.

With firm faith I believe as well everything contained in God's word, written or handed down in tradition and proposed by the church--whether in solemn judgment or in the ordinary and universal Magisterium--as divinely revealed and called for faith.

I also firmly accept and hold each and every thing that is proposed by that same church definitively with regard to teaching concerning faith or morals.

What is more, I adhere with religious submission of will and intellect to the teachings which either the Roman pontiff or the college of bishops enunciate when they exercise the authentic Magisterium even if they proclaim those teachings in an act that is not definitive.