Today is the end of my spiritual retreat, it has been an interesting 5 days where nothing went as planned but in Providence it’s all been what I needed.
The day I arrived here I was still feeling stressed, flustered and trying to wind down. I was planning to join the monks in the oratory to pray all the hours of Divine Office everyday and to have my meals with the monks too. But when I arrived I started having stomach issues and I think I’ve had some sort of gastro for the first 3-4 days, so most of my time has been spent sleeping or on the toilet. So my retreat has not been as “pious” as I was planning it to be.
I had been meeting with one of the monks every morning for a spiritual retreat and he had given me Conferences 9&10 of St John Cassian to read, as well as the Letter to the Hebrews for my Lectio material.
In Hebrews 4:9-11 I came across the Rest that we are called into when we are obedient to God. So this was my reminder from God that on retreat I am allowed to rest, relax and recover in His Presence. I don’t need to be getting up at 5am to pray with the monks every morning, so long as I am praying in my room and being close to God, then I can still relax and rest. As a hermit I am not called to live as a Benedictine Monk and this is ok, my vocation is different and I need to learn to be able to Rest in God.
Then because of the mask mandates being extended to the Wheatbelt Region, the Abbot decided to suspend any visitors being able to eat with the monks in the refractory. So I had to have my meals in the dining room with the other guests here.
Only I would be able to find myself in a Catholic Monastery in a remote area having dinner with 3 other ladies who all happen to be Evangelicals! So over dinner we ended up passionately discussing spiritual warefare, being prayer warriors and intercessors. Praise God. Wonderful lively chats but I had planned on having silent meals. So after 2 days with them, they have now been invited to come along for my renewal of vows as a hermit. I even managed to get time to discuss with them the importance of silence and contemplative prayer from the perspective of the Desert Fathers and Catholic tradition.
Last night I met another group of ladies over dinner who initially I wasn’t going to talk with, I was planning to eat alone on my table in silence while they are at theres. But one of the ladies seemed to get offended and they didn’t like that they thought they were leaving me out. So we ended up having a great discussion about many things regarding prayer, personal struggles, and I was able to share my testimony with them. One of them told me that she finds me so fascinating that I should have a podcast or something and give regular talks or interviews, and then tells me she is a social media marketer!
So of course they have all been invited to my vows too,
The Lord works in mysterious ways. I am sad to be leaving today, but I’m also happy because I feel rested and relaxed finally. Most of all, I have been able to refocus on Jesus - fixing my eyes on Him who I love and who I know loves me back.
As God spoke to me this morning in the Gospel at Mass :
“Go home to your friends, and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and what mercy he has shown you.””
Mark 5:19
