Ruminations of an Irascible Hermit.: Holy stubbornness

Monday, October 11, 2021

Holy stubbornness - the gift of perseverance

I wanted to share this with you all to help encourage you if you are struggling or finding it Hard to persevere…

As some of you who know me personally may be aware, I am living as a hermit and in the process of trying to be recognised as a hermit by the Diocese I live in as a hermit under canon law and be affiliated with the Carmelite Order (O.Carm) as a lay hermit. I have spent the past 5 months trying to get a meeting with my Archbishop to discuss my petition, as the Carmelite Secretary General in Rome has requested that I need a letter of approval from my Archbishop.

After 5 months of multiple emails being ignored, I submitted my formal letter of petition with 5 written references and all my documents. A few weeks ago I was finally able to meet with our Auxiliary Bishop who was delegated by the Archbishop. The meeting went really well, i felt listened to, respected and acknowledged. However ever since the meeting I have started having some health issues which the doctors can’t work out what is wrong with me and trying to tell me it’s psychological because all my tests are saying my health is fantastic.

So this has been causing me to feel frustrated, disheartened and to begin to experience a loss of fervor in my prayer life. I had sent a follow up email to the Archbishop’s secretary regarding my approval letter for my affiliation with the Carmelites but then was ignored again. So I started to feel it was all a waste of time.

However, I am stubborn and so I continued on. Praying when I can, continuing work, interceding for people with sexual addictions (which is my “charism”) and yesterday finally wrote my testimony regarding my journey with SSA, loneliness, anxiety and depression. In spite of all my let downs and weaknesses, I still remained resilient and persevered. This is what myself & my fellow hermit Sr Ellen Jones-Carney refer to as “Holy Stubborness” 😂

Today God gave me a surprise.

I received an email from the Archbishop’s secretary with my letter of approval to be affiliated with the Carmelite Order. Praise God!! In spite of my weakness, lack of faith and beginning to doubt - God is always faithful! Then to top it off, this evening during Vespers in the Divine Office (Friday 8th October) this was the scripture reading.

If that is not a sign from God then nothing wise is!

I want to encourage you to remain “stubborn” in your walk with God, follow the promptings and desires he has given you, don’t lose hope and continue to persevere in doing his will. God will reward you when the time I right!!

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Disclaimer

Please note. I am a Catholic layman, not a qualified theologian or philosopher. What I say and write here are my own personal thoughts and ideas, although I always try to conform my writings to the Magisterium of the Church.

I- with firm faith believe and profess everything that is contained in the symbol of faith: namely,

I believe in one God, the Father, the Almighty, maker of heaven and earth, of all that is seen and unseen. I believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only Son of God, eternally begotten of the Father, God from God, Light from Light, true God from true God, begotten, not made, one in Being with the Father. Through him all things were made. For us men and for our salvation he came down from heaven: By the power of the Holy Spirit, he was born of the Virgin Mary, and became man. For our sake he was crucified under Pontius Pilate; he suffered, died and was buried. On the third day he rose again in fulfillment of the Scriptures; he ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father. He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead, and his kingdom will have no end. I believe in the Holy Spirit, the Lord, the giver of life, who proceeds from the Father and the Son. With the Father and the Son he is worshipped and glorified. He has spoken through the Prophets. I believe in the one holy catholic and apostolic church. I acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins. I look for the resurrection of the dead, and the life of the world to come. Amen.

With firm faith I believe as well everything contained in God's word, written or handed down in tradition and proposed by the church--whether in solemn judgment or in the ordinary and universal Magisterium--as divinely revealed and called for faith.

I also firmly accept and hold each and every thing that is proposed by that same church definitively with regard to teaching concerning faith or morals.

What is more, I adhere with religious submission of will and intellect to the teachings which either the Roman pontiff or the college of bishops enunciate when they exercise the authentic Magisterium even if they proclaim those teachings in an act that is not definitive.