I chose Jesus, but He chose me first

On this day, 21 years ago I was baptised and became a Child of the Father, a Temple of the Holy Spirit and united to Christ. I was 18 years old, did not fully understand what baptism meant - for me at the time it was a formality I thought I had to do so I could be Catholic. I was baptised in secret because my dad hates religion and so to keep peace at home I had to keep it a secret, this meant my own mum could not even come to my baptism. 

I only had a few close friends present, my two grandfathers, an aunt, and my great aunty Anna who was my godmother - or as I called her in our family dialect, my Šontula. My baptism ceremony was done in the Croatian Church and most of the ceremony in Croatian by the priest, so not only did I not understand the meaning of what I was doing, but I did not understand much of the ceremony either. But the words of my Baptist aunt to me afterwards have always stuck with me “today is the first day of your new life”. 

I have had a very dramatic and eventful spiritual journey in following Jesus and living His Gospel. From being new age/Wiccan before my conversion, then a periodic Catholic, becoming a novice with the Salvatorians, spending a period in the diocesan seminary, having a breakdown, applying for a monastery in Croatia and moving there only to find out there was a miscommunication and I would not be accepted, feeling so rejected when I got back to Australia that I decided to live an immoral lifestyle for many years, to now being the eccentric Bogan hermit that I am today. Throughout all my search for belonging, Jesus has gently been with me through it all, guiding me and calling me into intimacy with Him - even through my darkness moments of pain, rejection, loneliness and shame. No matter what, He called me and chose me as His, and instinctively I have tried to hold onto this in my own flawed ways when even I could not understand why I was still holding on! But He is always faithful, even when we are not. 

As I was meditating on my past 21 years and the gift of faith I have received, I instantly felt in my mind the words from John 15:16 “you did not choose me, but I chose you”. Then when I checked the Mass readings for today for St Camillus and this was part of the Gospel reading for his feast! 

Thankyou Lord for choosing me, weak as I am. I am a grumpy, impatient, passionate bogan wog and not most people’s expectation of a Catholic, let alone a hermit! But my prayer everyday is always “Lord, YOU KNOW I love you, but help me to love you more” 🙌💪🏻

Slightly rephrasing the words of St Francis of Assisi, I like to say that if God can work through me and I can change, then anyone can! You don’t have to be anyone else but you and the person Jesus invites you to be and become as you follow Him!

The Ugandan Martyrs - witnesses to the truth and intercessors against immorality

Today the Church gives us the Memorial of St Charles Lwanga & Companions, the Ugandan Martyrs. 

Martyrs always fascinate me, as they challenge me in my faith. If I was in their situation, would I be able to face death peacefully and calmly without denying my faith in Christ? Would I be able to not fight back and to hate my persecutors, but love them and pray for them instead and even bless them? 

And I always come to the challenge of asking myself, if I’m so inspired by these heroic figures, why can’t I follow their example in the little day to day struggles of my life? Why am I not able to control my temper or my patience or my lust or bitterness or my self control? If I can’t be faithful in those little daily battles, how can I ever hope to be steadfast if ever faced with the choice between death or denying my faith? 

But the saints give me hope and I pray through their intercession that if I’m ever in that position that I will have the grace to persevere. 

In todays society, it is progressively becoming more and anti-Christian. Things that 10 years ago would have been considered so absurd as to be laughed at and dismissed, are now being debated and advocated at the highest levels of society. Reality no longer appears to be an objective and truth is reduced to whatever is the appeal to the masses of the day. 

But the martyrs were always hated for opposing error and refusing to compromise the truth. Recently we had the memorial of St Justin Martyr who is a Church Father abd refuses to offer sacrifice to idols. Now 2 days later we have St Charles Lwanga and companions.  

You’ll hear it said about St Charles is how he was in the service of a King and he refused to cooperate in sexuality immorality. But what is interesting is that through his example, other servant boys were also refusing to be involved in sexual immorality as part of their “service” to the King. These same boys were also converting to the faith through the example of St Charles Lwanga who not only acted as a mentor to them, but he also catechised them and even baptised them! What a wonderful example of faith to us all! 

He and his companions were martyred with other non Catholic Christians too, primarily Anglicans. And there is a shrine dedicated to them. Pope Paul VI visited this shrine after he canonised the martyrs and reflects on the strength of their faith, as a personal lived conviction and experience of Jesus. They were well formed in their catechism which strengthened their faith and of course the graces from their baptism bore fruit in their death - they died to the world but are alive in Christ. 

May the collect for today speak to your heart and inspire you in whatever struggles you may be having today in your faith. 

O God, who have made the blood of Martyrs
the seed of Christians,
mercifully grant that the field which is your Church,
watered by the blood
shed by Saints Charles Lwanga and his companions,
may be fertile and always yield you an abundant harvest.
Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,
who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,
God, for ever and ever.

Pentecost - the gift of Jesus that keeps on giving

“If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.” John 4:10

Pentecost is one of those vivid and symbolic feasts of the Church that many of us associate with imagery of fire and the Holy Spirit. In many pictures, we will often see our Lady together with the Apostles, and tongues of fire over each of their heads. What we often forget to understand is the deeper meaning behind it all. 

• Why does Jesus send and give us the Holy Spirit?
• Who or what is the Holy Spirit?
• Why is Our Lady in the scene at Pentecost, and what is her connection with the Holy Spirit?
• Why does the Holy Spirit give us gifts, and what is the meaning behind gifts from God?
• What gifts has Jesus specifically given us?

To explore these questions, I would first like to start with the last point. What gifts has Jesus specifically given us?

In the Gospels we can highlight a few of the following that Jesus gives/promises us-  rest (Matthew 11:28-30) His peace (John 14:27),  the Eucharist (Luke 22:19-20, Matthew 26:26-39, Mark 14:22-25) , the example of service (John 13:15-17), a New Commandment (John 13:34), how to pray (Luke 11:2-4, Matthew 6:9-13), eternal life (John 11:25 - 26), a place in His Father's house (John 14:1-3), always being with us and not leaving us orphans (Matthew 28:28, John 14:18)  his mother Mary (John 19:27), the Holy Spirit (Luke 24:49, John 14:16, John 20:22).

All of the teachings and promises of Jesus are regarding gift of eternal life and salvation. However, If we had to group the promises, we could roughly put them into 3 categories -

• The gift of the Sacraments
• The gift of His own mother
• The gift of the Holy Spirit

These 3 gifts are so intrinsically linked, that we can easily overlook or take the connections for granted. 

As Catholics, we know that the Sacraments of the Church were established and instituted by Jesus Himself, and handed on to the Apostles who were the first Bishops. For most of us we have heard it often enough that Jesus gives us forgiveness of sins, the promise of eternal life, and the power of prayer as the Children of God. We also know that Trinitarian Baptism was instituted by Jesus (Matthew 18:19-20), as well as His Body and Blood in the Eucharist (John 6:54-56). On Holy Thursday He instituted the priesthood at the Last Supper when he commanded them to continue His memorial of the Eucharist (Luke22:19-20). Sometimes we may forget the connection between the power He granted to priests to forgive sins in Confession (John 20:21-23). 

All the Sacraments are for strengthening our faith, keeping the teachings of Jesus alive in us and building up the Body of Christ - the Church. It is the power of the Holy Spirit present in the Sacraments that enables them to have life giving power, so that they actually do/impart the reality behind what is symbolised in the action ..ie waters of baptism symbolically wash but actually cleanses and purifies us from original sin, the annointing with chrism and laying on of hands gives us the Holy Spirit who is the seal/annointing of God and overshadowing Divine Presence that we become temples of, eating consecrated bread and wine as food bring us into union with the person of Jesus Christ Himself, the words of the priest spoken over us absolving us of our sins become a guarantee and declaration of forgiveness by Jesus Christ Himself. 

The power behind the Sacraments comes from the authority of Jesus Christ Himself and the action of the Holy Spirit who is present in the Sacraments (CCC #1076). The Holy Spirit keeps alive the memory of Jesus in the Church (CCC #1099), preserving the Church and giving us life, as well as leading us into the fullness of truth while comforting and teaching us (John 16:13).  As the Catechism powerfully states in paragraph #779:  

"Because the Holy Spirit is the anointing of Christ, it is Christ who, as the head of the Body, pours out the Spirit among his members to nourish, heal, and organize them in their mutual functions, to give them life, send them to bear witness, and associate them to his self-offering to the Father and to his intercession for the whole world. Through the Church's sacraments, Christ communicates his Holy and sanctifying Spirit to the members of his Body." (CCC 779)

So we can see that the Sacraments are inseparable from the Holy Spirit. Without the Holy Spirit they are just empty symbols, but with the Holy Spirit they become life giving actions that impart grace and divine life to us. This is why Jesus emphasises that the Holy Spirit is the Gift of God, that is Living Water (John 4:10). It is the Holy Spirit that gives life and power (John 6:63). 

At Pentecost we celebrate and remember the wonderous outpouring of the Holy Spirit. The dramatic manifestation of the power and presence of the Holy Spirit now outpoured and given to the Church through a mighty rushing wind and tongues of fire (Acts 2:3). In the Old Testament, the presence of God manifested as fire in the desert and especially in the glory cloud in the Temple. Now in the Kingdom of God - with the 12 Apostles as the foundation of the New Israel, the Holy Spirit manifests as fire over them to signify His presence among them and with them. 

So where does out Lady fit into all of this?

Just before the scene of Pentecost in the books of Acts, it specifies that they all gathered together in prayer with Mary the mother of Jesus (Acts 1:14). This is a very important point that should not be easily overlooked. Because in the Gospel of Luke, the comparisons are made with Mary being the Ark of the New Covenant. This is demonstrated by Mary being "overshadowed" by the Holy Spirit at the Annunciation (Luke 1:35). This overshadowing or covering of Mary by the Holy Spirit is the same terminology used to refer to the Glory of God, the Cloud of Presence (or the Shekinah as the rabbinic tradition call it) in the Temple during worship (Exodus 24:16, Exodus 40:34-38, Numbers 9:15-23). The same mysterious fiery cloudy presence of God that appeared to Moses and led the Jews out of Egypt, that dwelt with them and was present in the Temple - overshadowed Mary and she conceived Jesus by this same mysterious powerful presence. 

We only hear of this presence a few other times in the gospels - the Baptism of Jesus and the Transfiguration. Then no further mention is made again - until Pentecost! And it is precisely with the Apostles gathered as the New Israel, together with Mary the Ark of the New Covenant that the Holy Spirit manifests upon, giving new strength, vitality, life and courage. They have now received the power that Jesus promised He would send them, just before He ascended into heaven. 

As I have pointed out in a previous post - at the ascension Jesus did not leave the Church, but rather He was enthroned in heaven as the Head of the Church and is still present with us through the Sacraments and the Holy Spirit. This is why in the Divine Office during Eastertime, the following passage from Acts 5:30-32 is regularly repeated throughout the season. Because it links the fruits Paschal Mystery of Jesus (forgiveness of sins), with the witness of the Holy Spirit (1 John 5:6-8) and the Gift of God - the Holy Spirit, the Divine Indwelling of God within us as His temples:

The God of our fathers raised up Jesus, whom you had killed by hanging Him on a tree. God exalted Him to His right hand as Prince and Savior, in order to grant repentance and forgiveness of sins to Israel. We are witnesses of these things, and so is the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to those who obey Him.” (Acts 5:30-32) 

The Apostles now empowered by the Holy Spirit at Pentecost are transformed men. They have gone from running away and abandoning Jesus and denying Him during His Passion - to now boldly declaring themselves as witnesses to Him as the Messiah and Saviour . The difference in them is now the presence and gift of the Holy Spirit who is leading them, guiding them, strengthening them and giving life. The Living Water is now nourishing them, raising them from their weakness and giving them power to work miracles and speak the truth of the Gospel to all nations. Giving them strength to remain joyful during persecution and rejoice in tribulation and the face of death (Acts 5:42) . Only the presence Holy Spirit can do this!

But behind the scenes in all this is the subtle presence of Our Lady. She is the faithful one who stood bravely at the cross while Jesus was being crucified (John 19:25). She is the one who would have told St Luke the story of what happened to her at the Annunciation when the Angel of the Lord, Gabriel appeared to her and told her she would become pregnant. Then she would have recounted that mysterious encounter she had of the Holy Spirit overshadowing her and of her unconditional Fiat to God as she proclaimed she is the Handmaid of the Lord. She would have recognised the presence of her Spouse, the Holy Spirit at Pentecost in the wind and the fiery tongues. 

Mary the mother of Jesus, the Mother of God - the Theotokos, is now also the Mother of the Church. She who gave birth to the Son of God through the power of the Holy Spirit, was also present when the power of the Holy Spirit manifested at Pentecost and was poured out into their hearts as the fiery love of God (Romans 5:5). On the cross, Jesus Himself gave us the gift of His own mother - "behold your mother" (John 19:27). He still asks us today to receive His mother as His gift to us, just as He also gives us the gift of the Holy Spirit as our Comforter and Advocate. The Holy Spirit is the one who keeps the memory and teachings of Jesus alive is us today and in the Church through the Sacraments and sanctifying grace. 

Pentecost is now no longer a once off distant event. Pentecost is available to us everytime we open our hearts to the Holy Spirit and pray. The Holy Spirit has been poured into our hearts (Romans 5:5), we have been sealed with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 1:3) as our pledge and guarantee of Jesus (2Cotinthians 1:22), the Holy Spirit is alive in with resurrection power (Romans 8:11), and also interceding for us and teaching us to pray (Romans 8:26-28). This is the gift of Jesus that never ends, it is the gift that keeps on giving.

It is only the Holy Spirit who gives us the power to follow Jesus and to be called Children of God (Romans 8:14, John 1:12). The promise and relationship with the Holy Spirit is the gift of Jesus to His Body, the Church. As our Head, He has sent us the Holy Spirit to keep us in unity, harmony and communion to mutually build eachother up and to proclaim the Gospel. The Holy Spirit is the flame that keeps the memory of Jesus alive in us and in the Church, specifically through the Sacraments. These become the living encounter of Jesus coming to us, and us receiving the grace of freedom from sin and strength to live anew each moment the promises of Christ. All of this happens under the encouragement and protection of the loving Mother of Jesus, our mother of grace and Mother of the Church. She who kept all these things in her heart (Luke 2:19, Luke 2:51), also keeps us in her Immaculate heart so we too can keep Jesus alive in our heart through the Holy Spirit. 

This is why Pope St Paul VI declared Mary as Mother of the Church at the end of the Second Vatican Council. Just as 1500 years earlier at the Council of Ephesus, Mary was dogmatically declared Mother of God, Theotokos - he developed the Marian Ecclesiology of the document Lumen Gentium to now proclaim Our Lady as Mother of the Church. The Divine Maternity of Mary, in a mysterious way extends now to the Mystical Body of Christ, the Church. 

This is why in 2018, Pope Francis established the Memorial of Mary, Mother of the Church to be celebrated on the first Monday after Pentecost. Mary is every present in the Church, united with us in prayer just as she was with the Apostles in the Upper Room at Pentecost. The presence of Mary and the Holy Spirit cannot be separated. So this Memorial of Mary, mother of the Church helps to show us how the Church, the Sacraments, the Holy Spirit and Our Lady are all intimately connected and unite us closer to Jesus Christ our Lord and Saviour.

May we always accept the gifts that Jesus gives us and offers to us, never rejecting them. Let us thanks Jesus always for the gifts of the Sacraments, the Holy Spirit and his own mother!

Mary, Queen and Mother of the Church - Pray for us! 

The Ascended King reigns through the Church in the Sacraments

"God goes up with shouts of joy; the Lord goes up with trumpet blast" Psalm 47:5

Happy Solemnity of the Ascension!

Today we celebrate the mystery of the Lord's ascension, his "going up" into heaven in His resurrected and glorified body. 

We profess this mystery every Sunday at Mass in the Nicene Creed "He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father. He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead and his kingdom will have no end." But do we ever meditate on what this means? Why do we ever profess it in the Creed? If Jesus rose from the dead and we believe in the resurrection, isn't that enough? Why is the ascension so important that it is in the creed?

The mystery of the ascension is the crowning event of our salvation. In the incarnation, God become one with humanity in the person of Jesus Christ and shares our human nature. In the crucifixions, Jesus dies and takes all of our sins upon Himself. Death takes the bait and tries to swallow him up, but as St Maximus the Confessor teaches, death by trying to swallow Jesus is now destroyed by His divinity. Through the mystery of the Hypostatic Union (the union Divine and human nature in one person) - this means that by taking away our sins in His physical body and destroying death in the resurrection, that now our bodies are able to be free from sin and death. We share in His resurrection, through our union with Him in baptism, because we are now one with Him. 

But this is not the end... there is more!

In the ascension, Jesus is now bodily glorified and enthroned at the right hand of the Father. From there he will come to judge the living and the dead (Apostles Creed). So our bodies will also be raised one day and brought to heaven. Jesus goes before us to the Father, and will come back for us and bring us with him. He is preparing a place for us right now (John 14:2) and when the time comes, he will return with trumpet blast at the Second Coming (1 Thessalonians 4:16).

St Augustine and St Thomas Aquinas both make the connection from the 2nd Reading we have in Ephesians today, that in the ascension, Christ is now the Head of the Church, and we as his Body here on earth in the Church will come to share in His enthronement and glorification next to the Father (Ephesians 1:20-24). So through our baptism and union with Christ, we are not only Children of God, but we are also members of Christs Body which is the Church. So as His members, we will share in everything He has gained for us - resurrection, glorified bodies, eternal life, victory over sin, heaven, and Divine Indwelling of the Trinity.  

Is there any wonder why today in the Responsorial Psalm, we repeat the words "God mounts his throne to shouts of joy: a blare of trumpets for the Lord." Because Christ himself has now taken His throne, and ascended to the Father. He has now been exalted, had all things put under his feet and is the ruler - the Head of the Church (Ephesians 1:22). His victory is now complete and he takes his place prepared for him from the foundation of the world (Psalm 110:1-5, Ephesians 1:4-6).

So if Jesus is now reigning in Heaven as the head of the Church, what about us now here below? Didn't He promise us in the Gospel to be with us always until the end of time? (Matthew 28:20). This is where the importance of the Sacraments come in!  

Many of the Church Fathers made the connection that through the Sacraments, Jesus is still present in the Church in a mysterious but physical way. This is how Jesus keeps the promise of always being with us and not leaving us orphans, although he is now seated in glory at the right hand of the Father. 

Now some of you may think that the emphasis on Jesus being physically with us in the Sacraments and linking this to the ascension, in some way tries to deny the physicality of the resurrection and is some new age wishy washy teaching! I myself used to be skeptical of this, until I read the 1st reading in the Office of Readings today that says "He who descended is the very One who ascended above all the heavens, in order to fill all things" (Ephesians 4:10).  

Pope St Leo the Great also makes this connection of Jesus still physically being present to us in the Sacraments, but in a mysterious way. This is why He promised the Gift of the Holy Spirit who will Comfort us, and lead us into the Truth (John 16:13). The Holy Spirit is present in the Church as its very soul, giving us life and power ever since Pentecost.

This is why the Gospel today ends with Jesus telling the Apostles to go baptise, and then ends with the promise of always being with them. The Church has the mission from Christ to continue His work of salvation, bringing people into His Body the Church, offering them salvation and new life. It is precisely through the Sacraments that Jesus remains present with us and among us, so long as we are united in His Name and in the unity of the Holy Spirit.

The Holy Spirit is the gift and seal, the promise of Jesus that guarantees He is with us still (2 Corinthians 1:22, Ephesians 1:13). The Holy Spirit is the one who continues to be the Lord and Giver of Life as we profess in the Nicene Creed. The Holy Spirit vivifies and sanctifies us in the Church, and this is done primarily through the power of the Holy Spirit in the Sacraments. Just as Jesus was conceived by the Holy Spirit and became man, so too Jesus continues to remain physically with us through the guarantee and power of the Holy Spirit. 

Just as the Church is the Body of Christ, it is also the beginning of the Kingdom of God on earth. Our King is Jesus Christ, the Shepherd King of Love. So Christ reigns in His Kingdom and is present at all times in His Sacraments, making each and everyone of us coheirs with Himself. This is the gift of what we remember and celebrate today at the Ascenion. As with anything we celebrate liturgically - it is not just a past of historical event. But through the Holy Spirit in the Church, what we celebrate liturgically is a life giving reality that we participate. It is something that we also take part in and receive the blessings from. 

In Baptism we died with Christ, in His Resurrection we have Risen from the dead - and in His Ascension we are raised up to heaven with Him. (Colossians 3:1-4, 1 Timothy 2:11, Romans 6:3-11, Ephesians 2:6)

So today, let us shout for joy and sing praises. Let us acclaim with the Psalm that the Lord has mounted His throne to songs of praise. Let Jesus be enthroned in our hearts as we participate at Mass, sharing in the mystery of His Body and Blood in the Eucharist. Becoming one with the Risen Christ, so that united with Him, when He comes again in 

glory for us He will recognise us as His own.

Seraphic Virgin, Passionate Lover of the Crucified Christ - Scolder of Popes?

Today is the Memorial of the Seraphic Virgin - St Catherine of Siena. 

St Catherine is one of those eccentric, passionate and unusual saints that we may struggle to understand or relate to. She experienced visions of Jesus and Mary, fell into ecstasies for long periods of time, received an invisible stigmata and in one of her visions she was mystically married to Jesus Himself. During her ecstasies she dictated to others her dialogue between God and herself, this book is her most well known. She apparently lived only on the Eucharist at some points in her life, and intensely fasted to the point that some modern authors have considered her to have been anorexic! 

Many of us often think she was a nun due to her wearing a habit in pictures. However she was technically a laywoman! She was a Third Order Dominican, which meant she had the privilege of wearing a modified version of the habit, but lived in her own home and not in a convent. These women were sometimes known as the Mantellate - due to them wearing veils associated with nuns. 

St Catherine had some excellent insights on the spiritual life as part of her doctrine, and this has been verified by the Church when she was declared a Doctor of the Church in 1979 by Pope St Paul VI. From the little I know of her teachings, the following have stood out for me - the inner cell of self knowledge, Christ as the bridge, her obsession with the Blood of Christ, and her dedication to Church reform. 

St Catherine taught that all of us have the ability to create an inner sanctuary, room or cell (referring to the bedrooms of monasteries) where we can continuously dwell alone with God within us. In this cell within, we must learn about ourself and our true intentions, through rooting out sin and vice - and growing in virtue and holiness, the more we know who we really are, then the closer we come to God. This is very similar in many ways to the Carmelite mystical tradition of the Divine Indwelling and St Teresa of Avila’s insistence on self knowledge to progress in the spiritual life. They were both proclaimed the first ever female Doctors of the Church within 4 days of eachother. 

Her image of Christ the Bridge that unites heaven and earth is one that I have found helpful in my own spiritual life. It is the sacred humanity of Christ that becomes the bridge and sure way that we can safely pass over to heaven and to God. This is also linked to what can be termed as her obsession the Blood of Christ. In her letters she often refers to being washed, bathed, immersed, covered, drowned and even inebriated/drunk on the Blood of Christ - because it is what saved us, purifies is, protects us and also inflames us with divine charity. It is truly powerful stuff. 

Last but not least was her dedication to Church reform and her devotion to the Papacy. During her time there was a schism with two different Popes - one residing in Rome and the other in Avignon. This was because previously the Popes had moved to Avignon in France due political issues. She encouraged the Pope to move back to Rome, basically telling him to “man up” and do the right thing! Later on there was an issue with two rival popes - and she supported the correct one that history has shown was the legitimate pope. 

Can you imagine the turmoil of the time in which she lived? The Bishops of Rome, the Popes, had been living in Avignon France for about 70 years, there was spiritual and moral decay, political infighting in the Church among the Cardinals and bishops…. See things never really change that much!! And this was 600 years ago! 😂

But she steadfastly strove for her own holiness first, and then worked to encourage others around her. She had a group of followers around her who affectionately called her “mama” and who would distribute her letters or write them down. These letters were often for Cardinals and even the Pope himself! She would encourage them, plead with them and urge them to be good shepherds to look after the People of God. She became very influential and later on, she herself was requested by the Pope to be his messenger and to mediate some disputes. All through this, she fasted for the Pope and the Church. 

She was someone who had moral authority, people would listen to her, she had her own disciples and was known as someone who was a mystic who had supernatural knowledge and visions. She could have easily gotten so frustrated with the Church and tried to create her own church. I am sure many would have followed her and she could have easily been the leader of this new church. However she did not. She believed that the Pope was the “sweet Christ on earth” and that no matter how weak or sinful or cowardly or corrupt he may be - he deserves our respect, because he represented Christ on earth as His Vicar. What faith and humility she must have had! 

Now many of you might say, hang on a minute, how can you say she was humble when she wrote letters to the Pope himself and told him to man up and do his job! That doesn’t sound like humility to me. Didn’t you say she was a laywoman who wore a veil? 

And I answer a resounding YES! to all of this and more. 

It is precisely because she knew her place in the plan of salvation, that we can say she was humble. Humility is not about acting all sweet and passive on the outside - it is about knowing who we really are, accepting it honestly, and then working within those boundaries. 

She was a laywoman who had visions of Jesus, was mystically married to Jesus, went into ecstasies and then had messages from these written down and passed around, she had the invisible stigmata - and yet she did not start her own church, or denounce all the hierarchy as heretics. She remained within the Church, fasting and praying for reform, supporting priests within the Dominican Order to be passionate preachers, and held the Pope personally accountable. But all this was done with respect and humility  - dare say, even with love. Not a false pious charity, but a true love for the Church and God that enflamed her entire being for the Truth of Jesus and His Gospel. 

She did not fall into bitterness or despair or complaining. She prayed, fasted, grew in holiness, supported the clergy, encouraged others and cared for the sick. All of us can also do the same here and now. We can all become saints and inspiration for reform in the Church when we truly live our faith in humility and charity. When we hold the authority in the Church accountable, while praying for them, respecting them and not trying to illegitimately usurp their authority. 

As she famously said, “Be brave, be bold, in Christ Crucified you can do all things… be who you truly are and you can set the world on fire!” 

St Catherine of Siena, Seraphic Virgin and lover of the Crucified Christ, passionately obsessed with His blood - pray for us and the Church to be faithful to Christ.

Divine Mercy and the Victory of Christ applied to us in the Sacraments

Here in Australia it is a day late… but blessed Divine Mercy Sunday to you all! 

Divine Mercy Sunday is my patronal feast in the eremitic life, with my full religious name being Br Jerome Mary of Divine Mercy. I chose this because the mercy of God is something I realise has been such a big part of my own spiritual journey, as well as my calling as a hermit. 

When I was not living my faith and was in a period of living an active gay lifestyle, I would often struggle to pray. Now I love Our Lady and the rosary, but unfortunately for me I have always associated the rosary with guilt, and so it’s something I would struggle to regularly pray. So when I had my moments of wanting to pray, I would pray the Divine Mercy chaplet as it never had any negative associations for me. I specifically loved to chant it as I had learnt to chant it many years before, and so those would always be special moments of grace for me in prayer while chanting the chapel. I believe this played a huge part in me keeping my faith and eventually coming back to God and now living as a hermit. So this is why the Divine Mercy is special to me and why I chose it as my religious name. 

In the Gospel for today, it can sometimes be overlooked that this is when Jesus instituted the Sacrament of Confession. It was this moment that Jesus gave the Apostles the Holy Spirit for the forgiveness of sins. It was the Resurrected Jesus, victorious over death and ful of power who now imparts the life giving Holy Spirit for the forgiveness of sins. 

The beautiful way that the Divine Mercy devotion is linked to the Sacrament of Confession and the way that the graces of the Passion and Resurrection are dispensed to us, poured out through the sacrament is something I find very beautiful. The Divine Mercy devotion highlights sin and how much we need to repent and turn to our Saviour. But it also tells us that we should not fear Jesus - we should trust in Him, turn back to Him, allow Him to wash us, clean us, bathe us in His love and mercy. His mercy is a soothing balm for our hurt and wounded souls. What more beautiful way do we experience this than when the priest raises his hand over us and prays these words “through the ministry of the Church may God give you pardon and peace. I absolve you of your sins in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit”

What peace and joy this gives to us! Do we always feel it? Not necessarily. But the beauty of the Sacraments is that they are not based on our emotions or feelings. They are concrete physical signs and actions, that impart and convey the reality behind what it symbolises. This is why we have the Sacraments, because we are physical beings - we are spiritual and physical. So through the Incarnation and specifically His Resurrection, Jesus has redeemed creation, and now it can be vessels of grace and goodness in the economy of salvation. 

We know that we can ask Jesus for forgiveness of our sins at anytime. This is what it means to be living a life of conversion and repentance - to continually turn back towards Jesus anytime we go astray, miss the mark or fall down. We look to Him, reach out our hand and say “Jesus I’m sorry, I help me. I trust in you, have mercy on me”. In that very moment we are in the arms of Jesus, our Good Shepherd who knows our weakness and comforts us.  

But our spiritual life can become messy and tricky. The devil loves to play with our mind, causing temptation, doubt, scrupulosity… does God really love you? Are you sure you repented fully? If you’re forgiven why do you keep doing the same sins over and over again? How do you know you’re forgiven? Are you even saved? Does God even care? 

These are all the many ways that Satan attacks us, tricks us, wears us down to isolate us, make us feel shame and fall into despair. But Jesus has already given us the solution to this! The Sacrament of Confession! When the priest prays over us and absolves us - we are guaranteed 100% that our sins are forgiven! No doubts, no ifs and buts. We have been forgiven, absolved, cleansed and freed from those sins that burdened us and chained us down. But we NEED to hear those words, because we are physical beings. So through the person of the priest, it is Jesus Himself who says “I forgive you… go in peace”. Hallelujah!! 

Is there any wonder why so many of us are scared of confession? Why we have wrong ideas and conceptions of the Sacrament? For many it can cause anxiety, stress and fear. This is exactly what Satan wants. If he can make us so scared to run to Jesus and fall into shame and despair, then he can trap us just like he did with Judas. 

But Jesus is the Victorious one who has already won the battle. He had defeated Satan and risen from the dead. He has conquered and overcome, He has redeemed us, freed us, saved us and is now able to transform us. So whenever we go to the Sacrament of Confession it is the Victory of Christ being applied to our life. We are receiving the graces and blessings from the Risen Jesus who washes us in His mercy, soothes us and applies His Victory over sin and the devil to us again and again and again. 

This is why in the Responsorial Psalm for today we hear “there are shouts of joy and victory in the tents of the just” (Psalm 128:15). Jesus is Victorious! He has conquered death and won the war for us. Jesus is still with us in His Sacraments and the Church. His Victory is continuously being dispensed and applied to us in the Sacraments. The Gospel is continuously being announced, proclaimed and declared over our lives. The Church through the Sacraments continuously proclaims to us over and over “you are forgiven, you are redeemed, you are healed and saved.. go in peace!” 

Doesn’t this make you want to say “WOW!!” For me, it feels me with awe, wonder, joy and gratitude. It helps me to understand what a true gift the Sacrament of Confession is and why Jesus continues to heal and restore us through this precious and wonderful Sacrament. 

The glory of the Resurrection shines precisely through the sacred wounds of Jesus. Although he is Risen, and alive He still bears His wounds. Why? 

Because St Thomas Aquinas teaches that this is the trophy of His Victory! His wounds shine out always for us, reminding us how much He loves us and that through our own woundedness, that is exactly where He can be found - soothing us with the tender balm of His mercy. Washing us clean, annointing us, comforting us and strengthening us. Renewing is always through the new life He shares with us now. 

This is the beauty of the power of the Sacraments flowing to us from the Paschal Mystery. The Victory of Christ is dispensed, poured out, given, announced and applied to us physically in the Sacraments. All of this is highlighted for us in the devotion to Divine Mercy - we see the rays pouring out from Christ’s wounded side, His Sacred Heart bursts forth with love and mercy for us. All we need to do is to open our eyes and our heart, to accept His mercy and healing, to bask and soak in it as we say: 

“My Lord and my God - Jesus I trust in you”

The power of the Resurrection is poured out and given to us in the Sacraments

Happy and blessed Easter to you all! 

Christ our Saviour and Redeemer is risen from the dead as he promised, he has conquered death! Alleluia Alleluia! 

May you experience the joy and love that Jesus passionately has for each and everyone one of us from eternity and still does today! 🙏 

This love is available to us at every moment in prayer and especially through the Sacraments where the power of His Death and Resurrection are poured out for us, dispensed to us and applied to us for our salvation, healing and transformation. 

Christ has conquered death, sin and the devil! Alleluia Alleuia 

He loves us and nothing can separate are us from this victorious love!! (Romans 8:35-39) Alleuia Alleluia!!

This is the night. This is the moment of salvation - the Resurrection, our strength and hope

Wishing you all a wonderful, blessed Easter. Christ is Risen as he says, Alleluia Alleluia!! 

Just finished serving at the Easter Vigil Mass, and there is a beauty to it, that no matter how you’re feeling or what you are going through - some part of it will touch your heart. The fire, the paschal candle, the readings, the songs, the bells, the incense, the candles, the flowers, the homily, the Eucharist or the other people gathered in the pews celebrating together with you of the hope that unites us - whatever it is, some part of us will speak to you in whatever way you need to hear right now. 

This has been a tough Lent for me , there has been a lot of personal struggles, issues resurfacing or disappointments that have made me feel hurt, angry and disappointed. But no matter what life throws my way, no matter how much I struggle or sin or fail or even be unfaithful - Jesus is always faithful (2 Timothy 2:18). He loves me, He loves you - the love He has for us is so real it killed Him (Galatians 2:20. Yet He is still alive and is with us, telling us to take refuge in His wounds where He will heal us, restore us, sanctify us and give us shelter. But even more than that - He will transform us! (2 Corinthians 3:18). He will one day make us like He is, and this is the hope that gives hs strength!! 

Tonight, it was the words of the Exsultet that spoke to me and that I needed to hear. Words of joy, beauty and hope. Reassurance that even in the darkness of pain and hurt - He is in control and working out all things for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28) 

This is the night. The moment of salvation is now (Hebrews 4:7-11). Not yesterday or tomorrow but now - the eternal now of Christ alive and Risen who loves us and is with us always. We have no need to fear or despair, He is Risen and alive!! Because He lives, I can face tomorrow 🙏🙏

——- 

This is the night,

when Christ broke the prison-bars of death

and rose victorious from the underworld.

O wonder of your humble care for us!

O love, O charity beyond all telling,

to ransom a slave you gave away your Son!

O truly necessary sin of Adam,

destroyed completely by the Death of Christ!

O happy fault

that earned so great, so glorious a Redeemer!

The sanctifying power of this night

dispels wickedness, washes faults away,

restores innocence to the fallen, and joy to mourners.

O truly blessed night,

when things of heaven are wedded to those of earth

and divine to the human.

Holy Saturday - the hidden silent power of God in our salvation

In the Apostles Creed we profess “he descended into hell” … this is the mysterious silent action that occurs on Holy Saturday. 

One thing I never realised before is that the Church teaches that although Jesus died, his body was still united to His Divinity - even though His soul had descended into Sheol, the place of the dead, those righteous of the Old  Testament waiting for Him to free them and allow them into heaven. This is known traditionally as the “harrowing of hell”. 

Before the crucifixion there was Sheol, the place of the dead, where all the dead went - the good and the bad. No one could enter heaven because it was closed, and only Jesus through His Paschal Mystery now has the keys of life and death (Revelation 1:18), and so he was able to bring the Gospel to those righteous ones who have been waiting in the “Bosom of Abraham” for Him to save them since the beginning of time. In Orthodox icons this is usually depicted as Jesus stretching out his hands to Adam and Eve to bring them to heaven - the Last Adam giving life to the First Adam (1 Corinthians 15:45). 

So this awkward liturgical time of Holy Saturday that is characterised by silence, is not just an “empty” moment or a transition period. It is an essential part of what happened during the Triduum and the Paschal Mystery.  Even in His death, Jesus was still at “work” while His lifeless body lay in the tomb, but His soul was saving those spirits who had been in prison (1 Peter 3:19) to bring them the liberating power of the Gospel, of Himself - the Love of God made flesh. 

Because of the Hypostatic Union - the humanity and Divinity (2 natures) united in Jesus Christ (1 person), that means that even though His soul separated from the body at death, but His Divinity was still united to His body and soul, because He is an indivisible whole person. Fully human and fully divine. So even the action of His dead body laying in the tomb, was sacred and redemptive. It had meaning and salvific power. But we cannot understand it comprehend this without the life giving power of the Resurrection. 

May this silent day of rest and quiet on Holy Saturday, be a moment for you too to “rest” from the drama of Holy Thursday and Good Friday. A moment of contemplation and resting in God, in the knowledge that even when we do not know it, but Jesus is always doing the “work of the Father” (John 5:17) in hidden silence - but with more power than we could ever believe!

Entering into the Paschal Mystery through the Holy Triduum

As we end Holy Week and begin to enter into the Triduum, let us remember that we do not focus exclusively on the suffering and death of Christ so as to negate the wonder and joyful life giving awe of the Resurrection. Nor do we solely focus on the Resurrection of Christ so much as to downplay or minimise the reality of the suffering Jesus underwent for our sins out of love for us, and how it killed him. This is why even after the Resurrection that He still bore his sacred wounds for us. We need to have a unified harmony of both together, this is why the Church gives us this Triduum to liturgically enter into the entire Paschal Mystery, so it becomes a reality to our own lives here and now. 

Just as the Hypostatic Union harmonises the the Divine & human natures of Jesus into one person. So too the Paschal Mystery is the birth, suffering, death, resurrection and ascension of Jesus. This is our calling as Christians to not only understand what it is, but also to learn through grace to live it in our own lives everyday and enter into this mystical reality through the Liturgy of the Church and also participate in the graces of this dispensed and poured out for us in the Sacraments of the Church. 

Through the Triduum we are about to enter, may you rediscover the reality of sin in your life and the harm it continues to cause you. But also learn to take hope that we have been liberated from this sin and are given the power to live new lives in Christ, here and now - today and every moment you are alive (1 Corinthians 5:18). 

May you have a Blessed Holy Thursday and appreciate with wonder how Jesus left us a memorial of His Passion in the Eucharist, so that he is as real and present to us today as he was 2000 years ago (John 6:53, John 14:18-23).  May we also pray for all priests on this memorial of the institution of the Priesthood of the New and Eternal Covenant, so that they may be renewed in their faithfulness and continue in their ministry as the stewards of the mysteries of Christ (1 Corinthians 4:1). 

On Good Friday may you remember the harm and danger of sin, the destructive and corruptive power of sin that kills and destroys (1 Peter 2:24, John 10:20). This is what Jesus took upon himself, accepted willingly for love of us to save us from death that destroys (2 Timothy 1:10). Let this remembrance not be a past event, but a living moment of grace here and now of your liberation from the slavery and burden of sin, so that unite with Christ and His death - you too will enter into His Kingdom one day with Him (Luke 24:42-43, 2 Timothy 2:12, Romans 5:8-10).

Then on Easter Vigil - the Night of all nights, may you celebrate with joy and exsultation the Victory that Christ has won for us all. His defeat of sin and death and the devil now give us new life here and now, to die to sin and live in Christ Jesus (1 Corinthians 15:57). This new life that we are given to live, is now our life hidden (Colossians 3:3) in Life itself and the Author of life, the Alpha and Omega (Revelation 22:13)- Jesus the Christ, Son of God, Our Lord and Saviour and Redeemer. 

He loved us so much, and He still does (Galatians 2:20).  Let us enter into the mystery of His love for us this Triduum and participate in the Paschal Mystery through the Liturgy of the Church He founded and has called us to belong to. Through the sacraments He has left us, may we encounter Jesus Crucified and Resurrected - so that taking refuge in His wounded humanity, He will transform and change us (Ephesians 4:7-10, John 7:38, 1 Corinthians 15:51-57). 

Let us renew in our hearts what we proclaim at Mass in the mystery of faith: Christ has died, Christ is Risen, Christ will come again (1 Corinthians 11:26). Amen amen 🙏

Invalidating your suffering does not make it holy

I came across this on Instagram and wanted to share it in case any of you need to hear it. 

As we are now in Holy Week and prepare to celebrate the Resurrection, it can be important not to try and minimise the suffering of Jesus or our own. When we invalidate or dismiss our pain and suffering it does not make us more “spiritual” but rather it means we are trying to find God where we want, on our terms - rather than where He is leading us and He in fact already is present. 

This Lent for me I have to admit had been the “lentiest Lent I have ever lented”, and yet I know that in the pain and hurt and even emptiness that it is exactly there that Jesus is most with me and offering be transformative union. If you are going through something too atm, you are not alone, your hurt is real and it is horrible - but through the mystery of the Paschal Mystery, your pain is not less painful, but somehow there is grace to be found there.  

We don’t have to take up grandiose penances to become holy. But we do need to embrace our daily struggles, hurts, disappointment, bitterness, loneliness, anxiety, anger, sadness and all the human emotions we have - in the knowledge that they have all been redeemed and that union with Jesus can be found precisely there where he has placed us, where He has allowed us to fall or hurt - and not where we think He should be. In the abandonment there is also fulfilment, this is the mystery of the cross we are each called to embrace.

If we saw Jesus crucified, would we dare say to him: “it’s ok, you’re the Son of God and you’ll be resurrected, so yeah it’s painful but you’ll be fine”? 

If not, then don’t also say it to others or to yourself. Don’t invalidate the reality of someone else’s pain or your own - Unite it with Jesus abandoned on the cross. 

Lent as military service training for Christ

Blessed Ash Wednesday and beginning of Lent. 

Lent has begun as of today with Ash Wednesday. May we remember that this is the beginning of a sacred and blessed time that the Church gives us to enter into the desert together with Jesus (Matthew 4:1) in spiritual warfare, for purification through penance so that we can celebrate with joy the victory that Jesus has won for us in defeating death, sin and the devil. Freedom from bondage and slavery of sin, to new life in the promised land of His Kingdom of Eternal Life. 

Today we are called to fast by having one small meal and the allowance of two small snacks not equaling a meal, as well as abstaining from meat. This is a minimum requirement, we are free to do more, but we should not endanger our health or be unable to fulfill our duties. We fast to remind ourselves we do not live on bread alone (Matthew 4:4) and our need for God to fill us. 

During these 40 days, along with fasting on Ash Wednesday & Good Friday, abstaining from meat on fridays - the Church also invites us to pray more, perform acts of charity and give alms. So all of this can constitute our practice throughout Lent, it does not need to exclusively be one or the other.  

As the Church teaches us in the collect for today, we are beginning a time of military service in the army of Christ - we as the Church militant are entering a period of training through ascetical practices to strengthen our resolve in spiritual warfare. This is why we annually celebrate Lent and participate together as the Mystical Body of Christ, on pilgrimage together in the desert, on a campaign to the heavenly Jerusalem (Hebrews 12:22) where we will celebrate the Paschal Feast with our victorious Captain, Jesus Christ (2 Corinthians 2:14). 

May you have a blessed and holy Lent. Let us continue to pray for eachother and support eachother. 

(Collect for Ash Wednesday) 

Grant, O Lord, 

that we may begin with holy fasting this campaign of Christian service, 

so that, as we take up battle against spiritual evils,

we may be armed with weapons of self-restraint.

Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son,

who lives and reigns with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit,

God, for ever and ever

(Prayer over the offerings) 

As we solemnly offer
the annual sacrifice for the beginning of Lent,
we entreat you, O Lord,
that, through works of penance and charity,
we may turn away from harmful pleasures
and, cleansed from our sins, may become worthy
to celebrate devoutly the Passion of your Son.
Who lives and reigns for ever and ever.

Lent as asceticism - training for spiritual renewal

Lent is fast approaching us, and this Wednesday it is Ash Wedesday for us Roman Catholic/Latin members in this group. It is a day of abstaining from meat, and fasting - so only one small meal that day. 

It is always important to remember that any prayer or penances or fasting we do is not done for the sake of it. It is only a means to an end, it is a tool to help us accomplish a goal. The goal of the spiritual life is union with God - complete transformation in Christ and participating in the life he offers us, participating in Divine life of the Holy Trinity. This transformation and living in the love of God makes us in turn love our neighbour as ourself. 

So Lent needs to be remembered in this context. It is part of the ascetical life the Church gives us every year. Asceticism comes from the Greek word to train, so it is spiritual training to prepare us for our union with God and to be able to celebrate the joy of the victory that the Resurrection of Jesus has won for us which is what we celebrate at Easter. 

Lent is our time of training, a sacred time, a time of retreat and renewal. So any fasting or prayers or penances that we do during this time need to be oriented on renewing us to focus more on what really matters in life - the Will of God. It can be easy to get caught up in thinking “I want to do this or I should do that” - but the issue with that is, the focus is on us and not on God. 

It takes humility to understand that if I want to give up all sweets and coffee during Lent, but I’m going to be so irritable with my family and snap at them all day, then it may not be the correct Lenten penance for me. Sometimes we have to accept although it’s what we WANT to do, and what we THINK we should do, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that what God wants from us. It can be better to focus on loving our family more, praying more together as a family, and possibly reducing coffee intake to only once a day after lunch. This way you are still practicing asceticism, you are still learning self control through denial - but not to the point of being uncharitable to those we live with. 

As you prepare for Lent, try to start it with going to Confession. Take some time in prayer to examine what adjustments need to be made in your spiritual life. Discuss with your spiritual director or parish priests your ideas for your Lentan penance, but also be honest about if you have tried it before and failed, or if it’s been sustainable. 

The devil loves to encourage us to take on grand extravagant penances that we are not able to maintain, and so when we can’t keep it up or forget - we get upset, get frustrated with ourselves, fall into despair and then give up altogether. That’s exactly what the devil wants from us! 

We are daily called to carry our cross, not just in Lent. Lent is supposed to be our bootcamp to help us refocus and renew our spiritual training. Make the most of this time in humility, prayer and patience. Our focus is always on Jesus and what he has accomplished for us through His victory over death and sin by His Resurrection. Let that be our aim and reminder in all that we do, so that we can be open to the Holy Spirit who leads us and guides us in this time of renewal.