Don’t run from your Shepherd, allow him to heal and love you

For those who may not know, I’ve been unwell past week and half with bronchitis and asthma issues. On Friday I got taken to emergency by ambulance because I couldn’t breathe and they suspected pneumonia. In the ER that day I honestly thought I was dying, and told Jesus he can take me and I’m ready to go because I love him. But as the priest who gave me the Sacraments of Confession, Anointing of the Sick and Apostolic Pardon said to me: “I don’t think you are going anywhere yet, the Lord still has plans for you”.

Thankfully I don’t have pneumonia, but I have a viral infection from Rhinovurus,that turned into bacterial infection, plus bronchitis and asthma. So I’m still in hospital and having to humbly learn to heal, be patient, allow myself time to heal physically as well as emotionally and spiritually. I will probably be here at least another day or so. 

I’ve been so blessed by God already these 3 days in hospital so far. My parish priest visited me, my Coptic Abouna visited me and brought me orban (blessed agape bread) and gave me Coptic Anointing of the Sick, my mum has been everyday, my parish priest brought me Holy Communion yesterday and I cried. Today my spiritual director is coming to visit me and offered to bring me Holy Communion. I have a picture of St Tius in my room and I’ve been evangelising the nurses who ask about my miraculous medal or see my breviary, I tell them that I’m a Bogan hermit who’s a crackhead for Jesus 😂. St Titus has been teaching me to suffer honestly, but also with humor, and he is keeping me close to Jesus by reminding me to embrace my weakness and sufferings fully. 

This morning during the Office of Readings, this passage from Ezekiel and the commentary from St Augustine really hit me. My parish priest yesterday had a long chat to me and told me I have to stop pretending to be strong and in control and to allow God to heal me and let go. Then these two quotes really spoke to my heart as a verification of that. I’m a wounded stray sheep, and I can’t run away or hide, I have to call for help and trust in the Good Shepherd who loves me and searches after me, who will heal me and make me whole even in my brokenness. 

I hope this helps you in where ever you are at today in your life, may it bring you comfort and hope. We are all stray sheep, but we are loved and able to be healed if we trust. But we need to not run away or hide, together we can all help eachother stay close to our Beloved Shepherd and Guardian of our souls (1 Peter 2:25).